Eli Rigatuso on Two-Spirit Identity, Trans Advocacy, and the Power of Being Seen

Eli Rigatuso didn’t ease into this conversation — he opened with a question that immediately set the tone:

“Why am I here? What’s your podcast about?”

And honestly, it was the perfect starting point. Because this episode is about purpose: why stories matter, why identity matters, and why community matters — especially right now.

Meet ELi Rigatuso

Eli is a storyteller and advocate who created Speaking of Happy, a local-focused series highlighting LGBTQIA2S+ organizations and community voices. He later co-hosted Frankly Speaking with his best friend Avilisa, a Black trans woman, where they held honest conversations with everyday trans people — local and beyond.

They also brought education into the community through Transgender 101 trainings, designed to answer common questions while protecting trans people from being treated like public property.

“I Was Two-Spirit Before I Had Words for It”

Eli shared how, even as a kid, he challenged gender expectations and questioned rules that only existed “because you’re a girl” or “because he’s a boy.” Later, as he learned more about Two-Spirit identity and gender diversity, it helped him name what he had always felt: that gender is more complex — and more human — than most systems allow.

A Moment With His Mom That Changed Everything

One of the most moving parts of Eli’s story came from 2015, after watching a televised interview that stirred something deep in him. The next day, he visited his mom, who was living with dementia at the time.

Even through memory loss, she remembered the interview — and then asked him directly about his own life.

When Eli told her (in the simplest words he had then), “I think I’m a boy born in a girl’s body,” her response was immediate:

She told him she had known since he was little — and apologized, not for who he was, but for not knowing how to help him.

It was a moment of being seen that still echoes through this episode.

Why This Story Matters Right Now

Eli spoke candidly about the current climate surrounding trans people — and about the gap between what’s said online and what real life looks like.

He isn’t asking for special treatment. He’s asking for something basic:

To live. To work. To exist. To be treated with dignity and respect.

Redefining Masculinity

Eli also offered a definition of masculinity that cuts through stereotypes:

Real masculinity is careful, compassionate, empathetic, and kind.

And as the hosts added: real masculinity is vulnerable.

That moment alone is worth sitting with.

Heart of the Episode

Over and over, Eli returned to one central point:

Meet people where they are.

Don’t assume. Don’t decide who someone is based on your comfort. Ask, listen, and respect what you’re told.

Because that’s how community works — and that’s how people feel safe enough to stay.